Telling the Relatives

I have dreaded making three phone calls. Two to nephews, one to my brother.

I talked with Ricky yesterday. Rick and I have always been close, although not as close in the last couple of years. He lives in Coronado, the beautiful island where I grew up. (I'd say "idyllic," except that the island population tends to go Republican.)

Rick took it well. He did say "oh, no" when I started the conversation. I think if I keep him informed, he'll be just fine.

Scott is a totally different nephew. The guy should have been a doctor. He knows so much about medicine. And I don't think it's "fake" knowledge, but some real knowledge there. He himself is flirting with lung cancer, as there's a tumor in one lung, but nothing more has developed about that. It looks like surgery at some point. If Scott had his way, he'd wield the scalpel himself.

So Scott was very understanding, very soothing. We talked a bit about medical procedures during the pre-Oscar festivities last night, and he seemed to think I was at an early stage (a diagnosis confirmed by my GYN this morning). I texted him this morning and he called me (he prefers the phone, which I do not), but I was having lunch with Jamie at that point.

I haven't worked myself up to calling my brother yet. I'm not quite sure how to predict what will happen there. When you're in a conversation with him, it's hard to get a word in. He will tell me where to go, what to do, I think. He's had some experience with cancer treatments, although I really don't think he ever had cancer. He was suddenly "cured" a couple of years ago, but that didn't save him from MRSA, the bacterial infection, from which he's still recovering.

It's sort of like Judaism. You can't be Jewish all by yourself. When you have cancer, you have to include everyone with whom you're close.